First I will like to say Alhamdulilah for inspiring these words into my heart and for giving me the ability to understand all these things I am putting into writing.

A couple of months ago, I remember asking God what does it mean to forgive? And how do I know If I have truly forgave someone. As of late Allah has been answering my questions and I thought I share this knowledge mixed with a testimony.

So about a year and a half ago I had a situation with a former business partner that once was a nice, caring, supportive individual. who turned into this raging power tripping monstrous person.. which in turn led to my upgrade and my blessing. Even though Allah had given me a dream pertaining to this blessing, he didn’t show me how this blessing was going to come about.

I was in a business arrangement with this woman in regard to my spa business. I signed a leasing contract with this woman where I pay every month to operate my spa business in the same building as her spa business, we work together she sends me clients, I send her clients we do couple massages together.. it was a good deal and we worked together peacefully for about a year and half.

Enter August of 2021.. that whole month the energy with this lady was just different.. there was this jealousy like energy that some of my clients could even pick up on whenever she was around.

Now early 2021 around Ramadan I had a dream that I was putting out a display board (There was a display board that we put outside that said the names of both our businesses) That said La LUX Spa in big bold letters. I didn’t understand what it meant until August came and am going through what I am going through and am like wow.. this is how Allah is using her to push me to my greatness, to push me to a position where I can have a whole building to myself and I can control the thermostat how ever I wanted to( yep we fell out over the settings on a Thermostat!)

THE TIMELINE OF HOW THINGS UNFOLDED.

As I previously stated the month of August was already off energy wise with this lady but i couldn’t understand what was going on. A week before the first notice, I came in and the place was too cold so I changed the settings, but in order for me to do that I had to tear down the silly paper covering that she placed on the thermostat that stated “ Not To Touch” which I thought was quite silly because I was the only other person In control and in charge of the space along side her and I was responsible for more than half of the rent for that building, yet I couldn’t touch the thermostat?

Granted we had receptionists, but they were her family members that would fill in whenever they had time to, so am pretty sure she did not need a note to tell them not to touch the thermostat, the note was for me and I thought it was pretty silly and childish of her to do, so I ripped it off and changed the settings.

On August 24th of 2021 she served me the 1st notice. It was a Tuesday and I am usually not in on Tuesdays but I made an exception to come and work on a friend/mentor. And when I tell you, that place was cold as an ice box and I am not even referring to the temperature. My friend could sense it to the point where she kept telling me “it’s time to go” she kept referring to that statement it’s time to go. After seeing my friend off she called me into the kitchen area and gave me the first termination notice.

I would put up an actual picture but when she served it to me.. I ripped it up in front of her, threw it in the thrash and walked out.

On August 25th I woke up and I had this inkling to contact a former client/ friend of mine who is a major player in the real estate business in the tri-state area ( am talking about someone who closes on thousands and even million dollars worth of residential and commercial properties) I also hadn’t seen or spoken to her in five years!!!..

I googled her name.. her number came up, I called her and she picked on the second ring and said “Zainab”? I was like “omg Asia hi I didn’t think you will still have my number”.. she said “ of course, I still have your number” and we did a quick catch up and I told her that I was in search of a new space for my spa business and that I have about 30 days to move out of my old building( or so I thought) she says don’t worry I am on it and she starts sending me listings.

That same day I start doing my own searching and I came across this building that my business is operating out of now.. and I told Asia that said I would like to go look at the building. On my way home I drove past the building to check it out and I instantly loved what I saw through the windows.

This picture was taken after I had been there for close to a year.

August 26th we came to do a tour inside and outside of the building and I absolutely fell in love and I said stop the search because I have found the one.. she says cool that she will put in an offer.

BACK TO THE LADY.

So as she had served me the first notice(which I ripped up in front of her)of course am angry and am not speaking to her or acknowledging her existence. That jealousy, ego tripping spirit just completely took over her.

On August 28th which was a Saturday she served me the 2nd notice, that stated that I now had till the ending of august to leave and she gave me a check for refund for the rent I had paid previously paid for September before all this conflict happened.

Then that’s when the yelling ensued because am like this is not fair you can not do this we signed a contract that’s says 30 days notice, I have clients set up the following week. Just because you are mad that I am not acknowledge your existence doesn’t give you the right to say I have three days to move.

We are going back and forth, I told her not to say a word to me that she will be speaking to my lawyer, she calls the cops and of course that’s was a waste of their time because they saw the lease agreement we had signed and they told her she wasn’t allowed to do what she was trying to do. And she ended up looking like a complete petty idiot in front of the cops. While she is stressed and in distressed, am having a good time with the cops laughing and joking, I even asked if I could take their pictures just to use as proof for when I drag her and her edges to court.

After this escalated altercation, I had no desire to be there regardless of wether I had a right to. So on August 30th which was a Monday I called a friend and a sibling to go with me to get my things.. as soon as we got there, lo and behold a 3rd!!!! Notice hanging by the door, this notice states that I now have till September 24th to get my things out.. and if I cash the check she gave me, that would be me breaking our lease agreement and she would in turn call her lawyer because I broke the lease agreement( I can not make this up!)

I packed my things anyways, shut down my business for a month and hoped and prayed to Allah, that the owner of that building accepts my offer because I had already told a few clients that was where I was moving to.(the true definition of walking by faith not by sight)

Of course during this time period I am pissed at her I want to sue her, I want to take her for everything she is worth.. and I was just sooo angry at her like how could she do this to me, I had all these emotions of anger, hurt and sadness just ravaging through me. Because not only did she try to cripple my business she also told a mutual friend of ours that I had said something derogatory concerning their ethnicity.. so that fueled me even more, like now she is lying ? Like what lengths will she go to try to destroy me?

WHEN ALLAH IS FOR YOU NO ONE CAN BE AGAINST YOU.

As Allah would have it, my offer was accepted, I signed for the place and received the keys sometimes in September of 2021, and I re-opened on October 6th. Allah and my daddy’s check book came through for me!!

And even though I am truly busy with this new space setting it up and doing everything. I am still angry at this lady and I still want to sue her. And I remember having conversations with my then accountant and i used to tell him all the things I want from her when she loses or all the things I want to sue her for

Along with me salivating about getting my hands on her legally, I made sure that she was aware of my new space I was in that phase of “ look at me now bi**h” posted on my fb every milli second , to show her that look at you, you tied to stop me and cripple my business but I am back in a much much bigger space than your crusty space and mine is Newly renovated might I add.

More time passed I was like you know what leave her be.. I don’t want to sue anymore, I never cashed the check nor did I ask for my money back.. I told myself the way Allah will deal with her she will need that money.. besides!! Allah used her to push me to my greatness, Allah used her to fulfill the dream he had given to me earlier in the year. So after coming to this realization I moved on with my life and my business.

A YEAR AND HALF LATER.

Fast forward to December 17th, 2022 am cleaning up at the spa and all of a sudden, I had this sudden urge to pray for her and tell Allah that I have forgiven her, someone that I have not seen or heard from in over a year. I kept saying I forgive you( her name) and I prayed for her and I prayed for her children. she has a daughter who is just the epitome of a great obedient child and a son who she is severely estranged with. I was there to witness the break down of that relationship and I saw how it hurt her so much.. and she confided in me in regards to that situation. So I prayed for her and her family. Then Allah now brought back to my memory about the times I was asking about true forgiveness.

THIS IS THE ANSWER.

All the emotions I am feeling right now towards this woman, is the feeling of forgiveness. She hurt me, tried to destroy my business and my reputation, yet here I am still thriving and praying for her. I now understand what was going on with her.. there was or maybe still is a spirit of jealousy that was working through her.. hence why her sudden and erratic behavior towards me, someone whom she once referred to as a daughter. Now that I understand that it’s not her but the spirit, I can wholeheartedly say I forgive her and pray that Allah delivers her from the spirit of jealousy.

TO FORGIVE IS NOT TO FORGET.

The saying of forgiving and forgetting or to forgive is to forget is a dangerous one and it’s one I don’t subscribe to at all.. So while I forgive this woman, I pray for her and I am wishing her nothing but the best in life, it doesn’t mean I have forgotten nor does it mean that I should bring her back in to the folds of my life..

And this concept is what some people don’t understand and it is unfortunately what gets some people bitten twice by the same people .

In this life, you have people who are innately good, but they do bad things because of certain spirits operating through them, or certain environmental influences, then you have people that are innately bad and they do bad things or good things with bad intentions behind them( in my opinion no amount of Hail Mary Can save these ones) then you have some people that are good or good to others, but something about a particular person(s) irritates them. The anointing or the light that is living in inside of a person(s) irritates their darkness and their demons and are threatened on a subconscious level.

When I analyze my situation with this lady, I truly believe she is a good person, mother and a great business woman.. because we had shared so many good moments together, she had confided in me and vice versa.. she promoted my business every chance she got, she told me how much she is proud of me, for being young, beautiful and driven. That most girls with my looks would just try to get by Or prostitute themselves to men.

I truly believe that at one point in our friendship/ business relationship, she meant well for me but that time period of conflict between us, the spirit of jealousy was doing a number on her.. so now that I have forgiven her.. Allah hasn’t given me nor do I think he will give me the go ahead to bring her back into my fold..because forgiving someone also requires one to let the person go or let the person be.

If I am aware that a spirit is operating within her.. I need to let God deal with it and regardless of wether she is delivered or regardless of wether we get to be okay again is not my concern nor is it my priority.. my priority is to forgive, not hold on to bitterness and rid my heart of all those emotions I was feeling towards her.

When people hurt you, you are not required to stay in their lives and help them pray away their dark spirits, or excuse their horrible behavior. No, Allah doesn’t want such draining, toxic life for us. Leave these people to their own devices and whatever deliverance or whatever judgments that may come upon them is between them and God.

UNDERSTAND, FORGIVE AND LET GO.

Understanding people, not taking their actions towards you personal, forgiving them and moving on with your life for the sake of your peace of mind is the TRUE ACT OF FORGIVENESS.

And if Allah wants these certain people around you again, he will first of all deliver them of these spirits and give you the go ahead.. but if this never happens, learn to be okay with that..
To forgive someone does not require the other person(s) plea for it nor does it require you mentioning to them, make a conscious decision in your mind to forgive and let go of all ill will towards them or any hurt they might have done to you.

Now how can you be sure that you have truly forgiven someone?

There would be no bitterness or the feeling of bitterness and anger would have been replaced by the feelings of compassion. When these people come to mind, you will truly wish them the best, or you might pray for them if you feel compelled to or you might find yourself saying things like “ I hope all is well with them” or you just wouldn’t think of them or the situation or if you were to be reminded of the situation or come across the person(s) there would be no emotions.. People forgive differently and different situations will require different emotions.

It will never be a “ To hell with Them” and to me that is forgiveness and that is what i truly believe should be required of a person.. also note that forgiveness doesn’t always have to be a right away thing, time is healer of all wounds.

FORGETTING?

I don’t think it’s possible, unless one is giving some sort of memory erasing serum.

MOVING ON WITH THE PERSON?

Only if you have been instructed to do so by Allah, otherwise move on with your own life and continue on the path to your own peace and happiness.

The next time someone wrongs you, try to remember this definition of true forgiveness and let go of negative feelings for the sake of Allah and your own spiritual wellbeing.

Thank You For Reading.

-xoxo

The Act Of Forgiveness: What It Truly Means